Career change. Why the heck is this so frightening?

I took two years off to write a book. It turned out to be one of the most foolish things I ever did in my life. My rationalization was that I’d been writing all my life and I finally needed to just write and do nothing else.

Bad idea. REALLY bad idea. My mother was happy that I was writing and I shared my work with her. She always wanted to be a writer and she shared her technique books with me when I was a teenager. My late sister wrote beautifully and my dad was articulate and creative. So I just assumed it would be a good idea. Little did I know that it was a bad idea. A really bad idea. Or should I say an “unwise” idea? Why?

Taking two years off of full time work as a nurse made me realize I didn’t want to be a nurse any longer. Nursing didn’t welcome creativity and the paperwork was annoying. When you literally step away from something you’ve been doing a long time, the view becomes clearer. I was tired of the staff issues and since I’m not a suspicious person, I was out of the loop of gossip and malice. They always say that I’m “too nice,” or “goofy” or “in my own world.” I realize I wasn’t created for the dog-eat-dog world. I had enough of that growing up in a violent –physically and emotionally–family.

I guess I’ve been searching for peace. I assumed I’d find it in the solitary act of writing a book. But that’s not what transpired. My money ran out because I was living above my means and the book cost $22,000.00 to get it out in the world. That doesn’t include the lost income and the money spent on the book tour as I traveled across the United States.

So back to nursing I go. I honestly don’t want to but it’ll enable me to get back on my financial feet the quickest.

This circle I’m making reminds me of the circle a dog makes when it’s chasing it’s tail; I’ll eventually find the comfortable spot.

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